How to scare kids away screaming at Halloween and keep all the candies to yourself

I know I am unpopular  but I have to share this.  I have video to prove it.

My wife like to play trick and treat in the neighbourhood with the kids at Halloween, so to be fair she won't allow me to rest in peace, but have to hand out candies.  In the beginning I don't even dress up.  There is some sort of anti-climax when I opened the door and saw kids in fancy costumes.  But then I'm still popular as long as I have candy.

Once I had to take the kids to trick and treat.  It's good to wear costumes and mask so nobody knew who I was and nobody cared.  That suited my personality.  So I began the custom even when I am just handing out candy at my house.  I don't need to smile even if I want to eat the troublesome kids.  I don't need to praise kids for their fancy costume.  Then I discovered that even the cheapest scary mask will scare kids, in the right circumstances.

I always wanted to make some automatic candy dispenser so I don't even need to open the door.  But I know it have to be very tough because kids will try everything to get more out of it.  Then I thought of making them to put their hands inside the door to get candy.  Then I am the candy dispenser without them knowing.  Then I thought of a fake door.  With that you can do almost anything inside without opening the "door", and without revealing yourself.

I couldn't have done that in previous years.  This year it dawned on me that I can make a temporary door frame in no time, and it take a minute or two to put it up and put it down.  The proof of concept model takes a few minutes to make.  It worked but not the way I anticipated.  Then the whole frame is made, just cutting a few pipes.  Then it took a couple of hours to figure out how to cover the frame like a "door" so insects and the cold can't come in.  Now, the whole thing can be disassembled after test, and resembled in minutes at Halloween.  It's tough enough so kids cannot break their way in to the candy jar, and won't degenerate when they knock on the wrong place.

Once I made a hole in the fake door for the candy jar, everything came into place.  Instead of wearing scary costume and mask myself, I just pop up the mask suddenly through some secret opening in the door.  The surprise always work.  Some scream while running away.  Some beg me to show their friends who missed it.

Note to myself: it have to be in their face, or over their head, while they are not expecting, or while they are busy figuring out something out.

Then the candy jar is too easy.  I hinted that it's also a rat hole, snake den or spider home.  There's the danger that they will be hurt.  Also, the candy jar will be exposed only when they rang the bell, so I will be there to dispense the candy fairly.

Note to myself: an ordinary looking harmless fake door will add to the surprise element.  The security of the candy jar have to be increased.  If kids see something scary or heard about the house, they will not ring the door bell but to figure out how to get into the candy jar.

The results? My ear hurts because of the screaming!  Caught on cam too.  May be I should add some sound proof element at the fake door.  I had bigger girls running away screaming, but asking for reinforcement and came back.  When they gathered all their courage to put their hands into the candy jar (or rat hole), they threaten me not to scare them anymore or else ... It's really begging.  The threat seems to be that they will freak out.  I didn't prepare something scary inside the jar because I thought kids will laugh off my cheapo design.

As for the candy count, no matter how much I put in the jar, kids tend to spend  minimum time in it.  They are happy if they just grab one or two, just to show their friends that they pass the test.  Some kids ask their parents to grab some candy, who are not as greedy.  "Professional" bigger kids from other neighbourhoods tend to avoid my house.  They have news networks and don't want to waste time on some difficult house.  And kids came in big groups.  If the first few ran away screaming, my candies were safe until the next group.  Once you got the reputation, or people heard screams coming from the street, only the "brave" would come for the test - those who want to watch scary movies but scream all the time.

I may release some video clips.  I wasn't expecting it but this is the best Halloween I had.